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Ruthi81
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Name: Ruthi
Birthday: 9/12/1981
Gender: Female


Interests: fencing, getting lost in museums, discovering new places, analyzing people, medieval/renaissance history, weapons, theology, religions/occult, yoga, meditation, concerts, gothic culture, fireworks, relaxing at the lake, travelling, comedy clubs, writing, photography, psychology, business, sociology, architecture, running on the beach, politics
Occupation: Sales
Industry: Entertainment


Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM: septembertulip


Member Since: 5/28/2004

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Saturday, November 12, 2005

The stars twinkle a bit brighter now
The cold air numbs nothing
As I stand before the eyes of Uriel
I wish for something more

Capture the energy in a vial
Sell it on the open market
See how sweet the propoganda usurps the body

Rest now and watch the clouds collect
Try not to think about the day
When ye shall be called upon
To let go and find another way

I'm holding onto the vial of aspiration
Only the priviledged few may discover
Where I conceil it
Underneath the fold of the fallen snow


Friday, November 11, 2005

Finding light in the shadows
I am left with few relics
To guide me
I ask you not for your advice
But rather your kind ear and gentle touch
To alleviate the pain
My words may be brash and bold
My passion and fury unite
Underneath the torment there is salvation
If given the light to find the way
I'm tired now
Rest your head against mine
Allow me to release my anguish
Without judgement I will find your aid
To accompany me where I'd like to go


Thursday, December 16, 2004

Well... today I have officially closed the fall chapter at SBU. Torn between bittersweet admiration for the bureaucratic system and the mental stagnation that is incurred at SBU, I must say that I have been surprised by the one course I found little interest in at the beginning of the semester. Maybe I have grown accustomed to the boring lectures and dry, mind boggling readings, leading me down the path of jaded animosity. Or perhaps the fact that life at SBU falls short of even Comte's notion of a perfect system... Positivism will never be achieved in my lifetime either. It is too early to say whether I will take classes in the spring, as I think I need to wake up and smell the wondorous aromas wafting from Zarros and Metropolis before I lock down once again.

The concepts of sleep and time management have once again reared their nasty heads... and I have succumbed to the fact that I am only as strong as the weakness that hides inside the mind. I have had my bad days, yes, as I have had my bad months and years. I wish to step back and recount all of the beautiful experiences, but they have been blocked out now.

Drained by your incessant need to contain that which is free... I cannot and will not abide by your scheme. Hold onto what you like--- we only have a short while before the present becomes the past. How does that happen exactly?


Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Things you probably already know...

But I feel like jotting down anyway…

 

My favorite flowers include tulips, daisies, and wildflower that grow along the North shore beaches of Long Island.

 

My favorite colors are cool colors such as blue and purple… but I have a fancy for black and silver.

 

My wardrobe consists of Gap, Old Navy, Addidas and band/sport tees.  I have a collection of over 50 pairs of shoes, sandals, boots, and sneakers.

 

I am of Irish, German, and Scottish descent. I still have known relatives in Ireland, Scotland and Australia (emigrants), but we are not sure if family remains in Germany.

 

I have a love-hate respect for nature. I enjoy thunderstorms and blizzards, lazy spring days and cool autumn nights. However, I am very susceptible to temperature. Cold and hot fluctuations wreck havoc on my body.

 

My favorite holiday is Halloween. The last Halloween I worked, we had a B.A.C. group anoint our arena and store. They were defiantly upset by our devil horned headbands and holiday decorations. They were even more upset when we wouldn’t allow them to put up their religious banner that condemned the day in the lobby. Oh well.

 

Cadbury eggs are better than candy corn any day.

 

My least favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. The smell of turkey cooking makes me ill. I usually end up eating my grandmother’s awesome mashed potatoes (I could live off them), steamed vegetables and pumpkin pie.

 

Family reunions are torturous. If I don’t communicate with you on a regular basis, 1 hour is not going to bring you up to speed. Small talk is a waste of time.

 

I am an only child. My mother had complications with my birth and was later diagnosed to be ill. She was not capable of having another child. My father always wanted to adopt, but that would later become an impossible fantasy.

 

I have a German shepherd /boxer mix named Daisy, a white and black dwarf rabbit named Penelope, and two glass fish residing within my house. There are also many woodland creatures including squirrels, opossum, chipmunks, birds, cats and rabbits that live on the property. We have wooded areas that lead to a sump where the animals seek shelter.

 

My worst moments of fear occur when crossing bridges. I will take a tunnel any day over a bridge.

 

I’m a book whore. My collection includes over two thousand books. Some are from family members, yard sales, used bookstores, etc. Borders needs to start a frequent buyer program. I also love the smell of old leather books with dog-eared pages and soft, well-worn bindings and have been found in the basement of many libraries in search for original texts.

 

I’m usually reading at least 3 books at once. The breakdown is often like this: one biographical or historical, one horror/fiction, and one academic text.

 

I have insomnia.

 

I rarely ever finish what I order. My eyes are bigger than the capacity of my stomache.

 

Health freak, I hate most junk food.

 

I am a multi-tasker.

 

I never get tired of watching history/weird phenomenta/biographical documentaries.

 

The perfumes I wear include Longing, Lucky, and Truth. I also wear many different body sprays and scented lotions. 

 

Makeup should consist of nothing more than mascara and lip-gloss. Anything that consumes more time than that is too difficult and time consuming.

 

Yes, I have been known to buy perfume and alcohol to dispose of the contents but keep the bottle.  

 

I also collect crystals, Disney lithographs, weapons and Lassen artwork.

 

I was diagnosed with syncope in 2002, but my doctors believe that I may have been misdiagnosed as a teenager.

 

I love the smell of coffee brewing, but hate the taste.

 

Recently, I discovered a new flavor of tea while in Bolton’s Landing… Peach Ginger herbal tea… The sachet is a delicate netting shaped like a butterfly… The flavor and aroma are subtly strong. Stash’s apple cinnamon and mint teas are also tasty.

 

Mental and physical sparring partners are awesome. Good chemistry is important in any relationship whether it be platonic or intimate.  It’s not worth trying to pour energy into something when neither person makes the attempt to see the other’s point of view.

 

If you cannot keep up, don’t bother trying to enter the game. You will only be hurt. I am a competitive, stubborn person with relentless energy that few people have been able to match or at least handle.

 

Instigator by trade, I’m always looking for a new challenge to overcome.

 

I am always writing, but rarely share with people. What you read on Myspace.com is a collection of thoughts. Underdeveloped rambles may be expanded and edited into better pieces at a later time. No future plans have been set at this time.

 

My worst subject in school was biology. I cannot deal with dissection of earthworms or frogs. The best part of taking biology at Suffolk CCC was the lack of dissection lab. 

 

My best subject was Economics. I enjoy identify patterns and predict behavior in both individuals and society.

 

My best mile was 4 minutes and 15 seconds ran in a 4xmile relay up in Rockland.

 

My worst field event is hurdling… I get so freaked out by the hurdles I usually end up taking them down and disqualifying.

 

The smell of burning leaves and campfires make me smile inside.

 

I‘m an information junkie. I constantly research many topics utilizing the Internet and other resources. 

 

The nurses at St. Charles Hospital ER used to know me on a first name basis. I was a frequent visitor. Accident-prone. Enough said.

 

My best friend lives in New Paltz most of the year. She is graduating in December and will probably be moving out of state. L

 

I’m a sucker for guys with blue eyes.

 

I hate air conditioning. It tightens your muscles and makes your body stiff. Fans are so much nicer. 

 

I love to fence more than almost anything. There are many levels to consider including the art, the dance, the game of mental chess, the endurance, and the level of competition. To understand my perspective on fencing itself, the best personal description may be that fencing is more than a sport, but a way of life that gets ingrained in your head. Death before dishonor. Dive into the chaos. Figure out the situation. Take control but do not destroy. Respect your opponent. You may learn about yourself through them.

 

CSA often reminds me of the drama at the Kingdoms. Never ending story.

 

My favorite teacher was Peter Doyle. He retired in 2000. Subjects included English, dramatic arts, public speaking.

 

I hate going to the gym. If there is a group of people motivated to be active, the gym is not a bad place to hang out. However, when working out alone, it is ripe territory to be potential meat (AKA dating material).

 

Stiletto heels are ridiculous. How do people actually walk in them? Or run in them? I don't understand the balancing technique involved.

 

Public restrooms and locker rooms need to be cleaned MUCH MORE FREQUENTLY. Sometimes the doorknob goo or the half-inch of dust gives the appearance that the rest of the facility is dirty.

Everyone should take a health management class. The class is boring, but the material is important to one’s personal safety.

 

I hate sitting through class unless I am able to question the speaker. Lectures without interaction are too difficult to learn from. I’d rather read the assignments and do my own research than be locked down in ESS listening to a researcher read from the text about sedimentary rock. Class time should be for Q and A, expanding one’s education by tapping into others’ experience.

 

The worst present I ever received was a green, Astro-turf covered desk set with appliquéd flowers (resembling an early 1980’s pool deck mat) that included a picture frame, pencil cup and letter box.

 

The best present I ever received was leather bound, a blank journal.

 

I make candles, jewelry and crafts for presents. I’d rather give something made with love and thought than something with the Hallmark seal.

 

My portfolio includes a black and white series of grave markers from the early settlements on Long Island. It includes research of the Smith and Hawkins families. I spent a lot of time wandering churchyards and old family farms to find small plot groupings. The principle of my high school was disturbed by the series. I expanded it a few years ago in college but lack access to a darkroom at the present time.

 

My short-term memory is bad. I link snapshots through association of smell, sight, color, sound. For example, I may remember the color shirt you wore the first time we me, or the type of coffee you ordered the last time we went to dinner, but I will not remember a conversation that just occurred without a cue.

 

I love music but hate the industry itself. Or rather, I hate how people treat each other in the industry. Irresponsible musicians who are prima donnas and do not understand how to be on time/early for their set… let alone tune their guitars or communicate with the techs…  (Sorry flash backs from a horrible Band camp show) to Club owners who mistreat musicians as if they are lower down on the ladder than the bus boys… Remember you are paying these people to perform. Just because you hired them for a show does not mean you are privy to treating them like your own staff. There needs to be a good working relationship if you want a good show. The patrons will be more likely to stay and return again when the time comes if they have a good time.

 

I’m a huge fan of classical music. Bach and Chopin pieces are usually in my Discman. I love going to the orchestra. If anyone wants to go, I’m definitely up for a night out.

 

I’ve seen Labyrinth so many times that the first VHS copy has been worn out.

 

My favorite movies include The Princess Bride, A Clockwork Orange, the Harry Potter series, The Firm, Poltergeist, Cocktails, and the Breakfast Club

 

I fall asleep when Monty Python hits play in the DVD player.

 

I want to create a network of people who play manhunt, paintball, volleyball, etc. on a regular basis. An active athletic club ion Long Island similar to what Michael is trying to do with some MYTRIBE social events. He has an awesome thing happening in Milwaukee.

 

Strawberry Newton’s, cookie dough ice cream and Reese’s peanut butter cups are simple ways to make me smile on a bad day.

 

Hugs and nap partners are even better ways to cheer me up.

 

Napping with someone is so relaxing. I’d love to find a permanent nap partner.

 

I’m trying to learn German and improve my grasp on Spanish this summer. I’d like to plan a trip to Europe in 2006.

 

My office is lit with 2 strings of Christmas lights, one blue, and the other pink. My bedroom has a set of lights strung above the double window that are multi-colored with blown glass accents.

 

I hate having my picture taken without my permission. I will expose our unprocessed film and bask up memory cards so beware lol.

 

The words happy and birthday should be removed from all languages when combined as one phrase.

 

Chuck-E-Cheese is not a bad place for 5 year olds or your 20+-year-old boyfriend who needs an ego boosts.

 

I’ve never had a secret admirer.

 

My favorite article of clothing is a black floor length dress with gold beads studded throughout… Slinky, sexy, beautiful…

 

Paragon is a great place. If you don’t know what it is or how to get there, you don’t deserve to find it.

 

I fill out Cosmo and ivillage.com surveys when I’m bored.

 

National Geographic Explorer is an incredible television program.

 

I want to learn how to play guitar.

 

Knee high boots (black of course) must be incorporated into everyone’s wardrobe as a staple accessory. If you cannot walk in heels, get platforms.

 

I am learning to cook. Currently experimenting with vegan recipes, I’d like to improve my overall health.

 

One of my favorite books from childhood <U>The Face on the Milk Carton</U>.

 

It was agonizing to read <U>Their Eyes Were Watching God</U>.

 

I rock at Sonic Spin ball. Arcade pinball games are great too.

 

Tekken 4 and Tekken Tag are my favorite arcade video games. Rapid Vending removed both from our store because the staff burned out the controls so often they couldn’t keep up with the maintenance.

 

I love picnics. Trips to Wildwood and Smith’s point for lunch used to be so much fun. Now I settle for lunch out on the patio.

 

I like white wine and bay breezes. I used to drink mudslides at Applebee’s, but had an awful experience at a Christmas party… Mudslides are now off limits…

 

The smell of the subway and the Zarros bakery are comforting. It means I am back to familiar territory.

 

I refuse to travel anywhere where an outhouse is the new technological plumbing improvement. Some modern conveniences such as running water and electricity I will not give up without a fight.

 

I’ve never dyed my hair. I have used Sun-in to bleach the blonde high lights, but in the summer it turns light red anyway.

 

My father and grandmother raised me. Too bad they spoiled me and taught me never to settle. You are just going to have to deal.

 

Sharing is a foreign word that I do not understand.

 

I’m afraid of the scene in the Wizard of Oz when the wicked witch starts throwing fireballs at the scarecrow.

 

My grandmother still celebrates High Tea. She encourages everyone to continue the ritual.

 

Nelson Mandela was an awesome leader.

 

Ramon noodles are the way to go when you are a poor, hungry college student.

 

I hate episodes one and two. New star wars movies may be more visually appealing, but I cannot sit through them. Return of the Jedi was awesome.

 

I’d love to do animation for Pixar as another career path if law school doesn’t work out one day.

 

Throwing clay and photography were outlets to get through mindless days in high school. I used to escape either to the yearbook office or art rooms to avoid boring classes. Many hours were also spent in other gym classes playing with block 3 kids (people who didn’t do much other than blink their eyes)… It used to be fun to provoke them.

 

Do not pick a fight with me and expect to win. It will only damage your ego.

 

I try to be nice to people. I have a tolerance level of 2. If you ask me to repeat myself because you are not paying attention or ignore me 2 times, I turn you off.

 

White Castle scares me. Don’t even bother asking why. You already know.

 

Ruby Foo’s in Times Square rocks for sushi.

 

Toys R Us is not just for the kids… Product safety must pass through quality testing on multiple levels, right?

 

Best Buy is not always the cheapest, but Circuit City defiantly rips you off at least 10 percent.

 

Marxist theory makes sense… Socialism and Communism are interesting concepts, but Weber’s Bureaucracy…needs to be censored out of all sociology textbooks… Unless of course we want to teach Weber in a new way… Anyone?

 

I love to pop into furniture stores to play house once or twice a year. If I had the money, what would I buy?

 

Its fun to play that game with a friend and tell the sales staff that you are getting married soon and you’d like some purchasing advice.

 

Glitter and sparkles are cool. You just don’t understand.

 

I’d like to get married either on the beach or at an estate. Either extreme will suffice. Simple, romantic, renaissance style wedding or crazy Halloween theme would be acceptable.

 

Just because make up manufactures can create practically any color, this does not mean you must showcase a Crayola paint palate on your face. Blue and purple lipsticks are creative, but people are not born with blue and purple lips. If it does not enhance your features, but rather draws attention from them, something is wrong. 

 

Everyone needs an outlet to unwind. My main outlet is lighting candles and reading in my favorite chair. Alternative outlets include yoga and meditation.

 

I am terrified of being bit by a snake. The summer when I was about 10 or 11 years old, garden snakes took up residence under a side stoop on my house. They bred quickly and soon the snakes migrated towards the patio. They would wrap around my swing set and dangled from the rails. I couldn’t wait for the cold to come and send them back into the sump, so that I could enjoy my swing set once more.

 

I appreciate satirical, direct, dark humor. Slapstick comedy bores me.

 

The number 42 is NOT the answer to everything.

 

The New York Rejection Hotline may be one of the best resources created for dating since Match.com and other similar companies.

 

Bubble bath and hotel Jacuzzi tubs do mix. DO NOT try this at home.

 

Marriott hotels are better than Ramada any day.

 

Oreos beat Chips Ahoy, but Keebler Soft Batch remains in first place.

 

My main drink list consists of lemon water, tea and fruit punch PowerAde.

 

I do not believe in organized religion.

 

Ferris wheels and carousels are romantic.

 

Three years ago I was at a carnival riding one of those octopus contraptions that has 6 arms and 4 cars per arm. Each car rotates independently while the ride itself rotates. Lightening hit a power line, and we could not stop the ride. We had to wait for the momentum to die down before we could get out of the car. Never again will we go on a carnival ride. The best part of getting a pedicure is the foot and lower leg massage.

 

I am learning how to fix my computer on a trial and error basis, but the stupid thing finds new ways to get into trouble each week.

 

I also steal blankets and bed space ;).

 

 

 


Wednesday, June 02, 2004

The trip was good for the most part... we got to spend time hanging out in a beautiful park in albany named Washington Square park... went to Howe caverns and an Iroquios festival... Cracker Barrel, Miss Albany Diner and Denny's for breakfast (surprised I'm still alive)... spent a day up at Lake George... I was so glad to be back there... the lake was amazing and it was so quiet b/c everyone was leaving the day we arrived so we bypassed many crowds... I got to eat at my favorite restaurant, the House of Scots... it is only open seasonally and has the BEST seafood and steak around... definately worth driving 5 hours for dinner... The weather was beautiful until last night... driving through a storm to get home seems to be routine now... lol... The hotel was ok... currently going through renovations as Clarion bought Quality Inn... (are they franchised? I'm not sure...)

I learned a lot on this trip... I learned that its time to start doing things for myself instead of for the group or even for another individual...

I learned that I am not as physically well as I had hoped... I had little energy to do much by the first night... the air was thin but it wasn't the air... I need to start doing more about taking care of myself which is going to be difficult... but otherwise I will be stuck where I am now... Fatigued and insomniatic...

I learned that I need to do whatever I can to get back to the lake as soon as possible... being a year away from it was way too long... there's something so grounding and peaceful up in Bolton's Landing (north of lake george village... the west meadow beach compared to port jeff beach if you will...)

Going through the New York Museum and downtown Albany... I entered 3 exhibits that tore at me... the 911, holocaust, and Willard psychiatric center exhibits... The 911 exhibit was almost too much to deal with... It hit home b/c one of my close friends lost his father that day... Conjured so many memories of the weeks that followed... trying to find/identify his father... The holocaust exhibit was interesting (one of my favorite subjects... I'm interested in not only the holocaust of WWII, but also more modern executions in Africa, asia, etc...) but the exhbit was being renovated... The Willard exhibit was most interesting... it was a center that was closed in 1995 and was the major asylum of nys in the 20th century. Based near oswego, the asylum housed many former military veterans as well as emigrants and civilians... Suitcases had been discovered long after the building was shut down... of patients who would never know freedom from the system upon admission... patients who died were buried with number markers bearing no identifying information, and when a section of the semestary got to be too unruly... some markers were removed so that the landscapers could better attend to the site (no names, no way to find these people for the families who search now)... the isolation room for difficult patients consisted of a cell with white ceramic walls, one screened window that could only be opened with a key, and a thick dor with a peephole and cutout for food/bedpans. Often patients/prisoners would be isolated wearing either underwear or nothing at all even in the dead of winter... the rooms were not heated... if the patient got sick and died, it was another open bed... I bought a book, MAD in America... looks interesting to say the least...

I think I am going to take some history courses in the fall... maybe I should work away from the psychology as a major and just take elective courses... I forgot how much I enjoyed studying specific topics in American culture as well as world history... Bail, Alexander and Doyle would be ready to beat me senseless right about now... I actually feel interested about taking courses again... but I need to be careful about what I choose to study when I'm looking for transfer credit... we'll see what happens.... Next week when I get back to a normal schedule I'm going to decide whether to stay at SB or to transfer to suffolk for a semester and see what programs nyu has available this far into the track... I don't want to lose credits but I really do not like the way many classes are taught at SB... I've learned so much more at 2am sitting in a diner or at 4pm while sharing a cup of tea than I did for 2 semester listening to people regurgitate the textbook verbatum... I need to either put more into the book and twist my approach to the classes or look for a different style...

Hopefully you had a good weekend...



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